rooftop harmonies

la verdad

2011-06-05T21:26:00.000-07:00

el sol baja, la luna sube
y se cierran mi ojos
en sueños te tuve
pero al almancer
veo que era mi mente
que me dijo que tu estabas presente

la mariposa me eligió
en mi alma la siento
este milagro se realizó
por nuestro delito
¿que harás cuando sepas
que un milagro nos tocó?

hear me

2011-05-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

So far away from you I wander,

Faceless… you’re faceless—

You turned your face away.

You cannot hear; and I wonder,

I have always wondered,

Is there a way you will hear me

Before I say I’m sorry?

Because I know I will be…

But I need you now,

Whether I’m sorry or not.

I need you, to somehow,

Bring the prodigal back.

pencil to paper

2011-03-16T15:39:00.001-07:00

disillusion

2011-02-01T22:34:00.000-08:00

I trusted you.
I looked up to you.
You were a role model.
You failed.

I trusted me.
I followed my heart.
I got lost.
I failed.

Who can I trust?

black hole

2011-02-01T22:18:00.000-08:00

you sucked me in!
here I was, ready to sleep
but your laughter drew me
and you knowledge deceived me
so I chuckled and I searched
and now my droopy eyelids protest
but you sucked me in
like a black hole.

unfortunately (big word!)
life won't stop because you're here
so I have to let you go;
I have to turn you off.
indeed, I will hibernate you.
until you, like the vacuum cleaner,
suck me in again.

goodnight internet,
netflix,
cable

goodnight entertainment!

little face, big eyes

2011-01-22T20:32:00.000-08:00

you look up to me and shout my name

a happy smile spreads across your face

a kiss on my cheek from your sticky lips

your little hands only reach my hips

your big, round eyes look up to me

but your face isn't the only face i see

you're a reflexion of the first one

who touched my heart; his only son

even though you are not mine

you represent a love i could not find

i loved him, and i love you

and even though his love fell through

your love, to me, is beautiful

broken

2011-01-11T21:34:00.000-08:00

why can nobody make me feel,
besides the one who made me will not to feel?

afraid

2011-01-01T23:37:00.000-08:00

I'm terrified to see the look in your eyes
When you learn what I've done
Will you still want me then?
And I'm so afraid that you'll walk away
When the shine wears off and the glimmer fades
What will you have to say?

It's been so long since I trusted a man
So many have proved that it's not a good plan
I want to believe, leave my heart at your door
But I can't find all the pieces anymore
Been trying to put it back together for so long
But part of me is gone

It's hard to let myself feel again
So much went wrong before
I want to reach out, but understand
That I'm not to be played
Don't tell me you love me, then walk away.
I think I'd like you to stay.

tonight

2010-10-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

i'm restless tonight
there's an ache in my soul.
i'm tired tonight
i just don't feel quite whole.
i'm sighing tonight
like i've lost all control.
i'm unfinished tonight
like a story untold.

something's missing.
there has got to be more...

The sky has been crying

2010-09-24T05:50:00.001-07:00

The sky has been crying angrily for two days now
And we are drowning in his tears.

no exceptions II

2010-09-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

I don't believe there are any exceptions,
but I sure wish somebody would prove me wrong.
C'mon! Show me! Yeah, that IS a challenge!

unforgettable

2010-08-31T21:47:00.001-07:00

He kissed me on the shoulder once. I'll never forget that kiss. It was my favorite because in that moment I felt loved.

no exceptions

2010-08-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

I can't forget the words you said

They keep reverberating in my head

So you think I'm glowing with desire

That glow's just the coals from the last man fire

And if that's all you wanted me for

Well then, let me show you to the door

Or at least if I heard you apologize

Or saw a little sadness in your eyes

But your side of the line is silent

And I'm starting to feel a little violent

I knew it was a mistake to ever trust a man

I should have learned that I never can

no sabes

2010-07-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

No sabes cuanto yo, a veces,

quiero sentarme contigo

y conversar, como antés.

Eras mi mejor amigo

y pensé que me entendias;

que me conocías.

No puedo negar el vacío

que dejaste en mi.

No puedo evitar

pensar en ti cada día

y soñar contigo cada noche.

Me matas, aún ahora.

Me arrepiento, no sabes cuanto,

de haberme enamorado de ti.

Te veo y trato de esconder el dolor,

pero no soy tan fuerte

para olvidarte.

tired

2010-07-11T17:37:00.000-07:00

i'm so tired of trying
i put this black ring on my finger
cuz i'm tired of lying
around, sitting here waiting
for someone to fly in
and sweep me off my feet
this life is not a fairy tale
and it's not fair as far as I can tell
cuz it's the ones who gave me hell
who are living the life I wanted, well
the life i think i wanted
or thought, because this life is not
what i thought it would be
now is time to wake up and see
that there's no such things as
happily ever after endings

missing you

2010-07-01T07:02:00.001-07:00

the place where my sideview mirror should be and
the dastardly cones who stole him from me

Every morning, as I cling to my coffee
I look for you, but you're not there.
I really miss you. I need you back.

2010-06-04T11:08:00.001-07:00

there is no hope.
no one is happy.
why life? why me?
how much longer will it last?
everyone is lying.
alone is the only way
to travel this road.
even hand in hand
we are all alone.
i'm sorry...

2010-05-24T17:57:00.001-07:00

you taught me how to drive on snow
and that there's no reason to rush all the time.
for that i thank you.
you were my best friend.
for that i miss you.
you broke my heart.
for that i want to forget you.
you were the first,
and for that i will never be able to.

te extraño

2010-05-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

hace poco que nos conocimos

pero dejaste tus huellas.

mi celuar se queda quieto

y duermo temprano en silencio,

pero pienso en ti.

quisiera hablarte ahora

y despertarme con sueño.

me pregunto en la oscuridad,

"si yo pienso en ti,

¿estarás tu pensando en mi?"

yo no estuve enamorada

y no pienso en enamorarme,

pero me falta algo

que ya no suena mi telefono.

CRAZY

2010-04-30T22:06:00.000-07:00

nothing leaves my head
the noise of all my memories
is maddening, deafening
every lyric, every rhyme
"How come I'm always there for you
and you're never there for me?
How come I'm always empty?"
i see me sitting at the lunch table
"Invisible. Likeable, but not liked."
a-a-a-annnd it skips a beat
then i'm "At the end of my rope
and somebody greased it.
L-l-l-life's not fair..."
step forward then step back
and it's getting harder "to go out on a limb
to put myself up for scrutinization
and if I thought that this was hard before
I didn't know what it was like
to stand empty handed at the door
and to have no one answer me."
and and and "it would be ok now
if we both just could have cried..."
if we both just could have cried!
but i cried, alone. alone. alone-
the memories. all alone together.
but "This is my life. This is my story.
This is my song. This is my glory."
so "I tried so hard and fell so far.
In the end it doesn't even matter."
and the memories never leave
they never let go. "Just let me go
Nobody has to know.
I'm halfway gone; just let me go."
years have passed and these words
"These words are my own,
From my heart flow." they never

STOP!

addicted

2010-04-29T21:26:00.001-07:00

i hate the way it burns my throat
i hate when it comes back the most
i hate the way i swallow hard
i hate that i let down my guard
i hate my body in a pile on the floor
i hate the fact that i crawl back for more
i hate the memories it brings to mind
i hate how it won't erase the tears i've cried
i hate my head over the garbage can
i hate the fact that my legs won't stand
i hate the pain that fills my head
i hate not knowing how i got to bed
i hate the texts that i send to friends
i hate the moment that this has to end
that's why tomorrow i'll do it again

Just for your FYI (as my coworker would say), I'm not an alcoholic. Yes, people can write about experiences that they don't actually experience. I've seen it first hand, though, and I think I have enough of an addictive personality that, if I let it, drinking could totally get out of hand for me. That's why I never, ever want to get drunk again!

ouch

2010-04-22T17:58:00.001-07:00

like a slap in the face
you put me in my place
got me sitting here like a kid
thinkin bout what i did
you got me to quit talking
people would say that's shocking
i just don't know what to do now

i think i've met my match!

then right after I wrote this I locked my keys in the car and myself out of the house. People putting me in my place gets me all flustered. It's just that it doesn't happen very much. Nobody tells me what to do! That's cuz I'm never out of line. Ugh. How am I gonna get my keys?

They always say...

2010-04-21T11:35:00.001-07:00

They always say, "I didn't want it to end like this." Does that mean they did want it to end?

stormy weather

2010-04-03T16:23:00.001-07:00

When the rain comes pouring down
It reminds me of a song--
One that fills my memory
So I want to sing along.
Not because I love it,
But because the melody's so strong

Memories flood my mind
And the tears fall like the rain,
As much for the joys of life
As for the scars and pain.
Those tears wash away the stains
When the rain comes pouring down.

decision by indecision

2010-03-31T20:23:00.001-07:00

Don't be afraid to go
Be more afraid to stay
When you fail to choose your path
There's only one way

if we could have cried

2010-03-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

I missed crying with you

I wanted to watch it die with you

There was never any ending

And we never said goodbye

I never knew how you felt

I never saw beyond your pride

And I think I would be ok now

If we both just could have cried

a change is coming

2010-03-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

spring is in the air

it's in the melting snow

and the flooding river banks

it's on its way, i know

i went out for a walk

with just my jacket on,

my ipod in my ears

and i was singin' a song

oh, spring is on its way

it's in windows at the shops

in the chocolate Easter eggs

and the pretty flowered tops

woke up with the sun today

and it wasn't nine o'clock

and under his warm rays

the birds began to talk

yes, spring is comin' 'round

and it's time to think ahead

to the tilling of the ground

and how to make the Easter spread

so i packed away my boots

and my mittens and my hats

and i found my umbrella

and my flip-flops and my flats

'cause spring is in the air

it's in the winds that blow

and the sunshine's warm repair

that makes the winter go

Picture was found on a random myspace thread. I cannot account for its origin. I did a google images search for "spring." I will probably get a virus just for looking at it...

questions

2010-03-11T20:32:00.000-08:00

Why does it still hurt?

Why do I still miss you?

How is this possible?

When will this go away?

How does this nightmare end?

Why did I do it to myself?

How many tears can one person cry?

When is it over?

Tell me.

who are you?

2010-02-28T18:31:00.000-08:00

"who are you?" I said to the mirror
"are you beautiful; are you lovely?
will you ever be loved?"

"who are you?" I said to that girl
"where are you going?"
and I didn't recognize her

then that girl looked at me
and, with tears in her eyes,
she replied "I don't know."

days like today

2010-02-25T14:53:00.000-08:00

it's days like today

that make me want to drink

it's days like today

that make me start to think

that i can't take one more

day like today

yes, it will kill me to be nice!

2010-02-16T21:04:00.000-08:00

this picture is from... the internet!

it hurts to forgive

and it hurts to be nice

girls are not always

sugar and spice

(pretty much not ever, really)

i want to let go

and i want to move on

but i want you to hurt

for all that you've done

(haha, i will crush you!!!) <<insert japanese accent here

it's not all your fault

i take the blame too

but it's hard to remember

it was more than just you

(it was like, 97% you, 2% me, and 1% other)

i long to break free

for this all to be over

i'd like to crush your memory

under a big bulldozer

(that rhymes with over... um, sort of)

but it's not that easy

it's just a little bit harder

than climbing a mountain

it's a good thing i'm smarter

(than you, hee hee)

so i raise my glass

"cheers!" to this year

here's to knowing my future

is already here!

(he's just kinda, waiting at the door, though. you know, he's kinda shy like that. he's not all about just bursting in or whatever...)

come what may

2010-02-10T12:18:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to say.

It feels like it's been a long time,

But come what May.

Ashamed to say I'm afraid to go

And more afraid to stay.

I'd like to know right now what to do,

But come what May.

Butterflies dance on the inside

But outside I can't give it away.

Or is that just what I should do?

Augh... come what May.

I can't sleep through the nights that pass,

And I can't wait for the day

When at last to see your face again.

Come what May!

I'm so ready for spring to bloom

And for the sun to send his rays.

But I'm even more ready to hear your voice.

You come in May! :)

in dreams

2010-02-06T17:24:00.000-08:00

with every day that goes by

i see the reason why

i'm the lucky one

and as the memories die

it's not as hard to try

to forget you

but when i close my eyes

and the daylight flies

you haunt me

when my dreams take flight

deep into the night

i see your face

and come morning light

no matter how hard i fight

i think of you

so all through the day

i pray to forget your face

and your memory

but when the light has gone

right until the dawn

we are one, again

winter has outworn his welcome

2010-02-02T12:08:00.000-08:00

What once was fresh and crisp and white
Is now lumped and grey and dirty.
Winter came with all his glory and awe
But as usual, he just stayed too long
Like the once-novel house guest
Who eventually cleans out your refrigerator,
Along with your wallet and your patience.

Winter, who in November, made his first lovely appearance
And in December, made Christmas magical,
Had the audacity to make January insufferable,
And the brazen nerve to make February unbearable.
To him I say, "That's enough!
It is time to leave our fair home!
Let ol' Punxatawny Phil see no shadow
And be gone, post haste!"

So who ever said poetry has to rhyme? I dunno, maybe this is prose, but I'm not creative enough right now to rhyme everything! I blame that on winter, too... :S

my hands

2010-01-29T21:43:00.000-08:00

The words floated softly to my ears.

"My hands, don't wanna start again.

My hands, no they don't wanna understand..."

And I was looking into a mirror.

"...They don't wanna be without your hands,

And they will not let me go, no they will not let me go."

Your hands--the ones that held my heart--

Now hold a wedding ring.

And just like the song says,
I go days without crying,

I don't see you everywhere,

And I can say your name easily.

But your hands...

Your hands are still breaking my heart.

photo from istock.com. Song My Hands by Leona Lewis.

get to you

2010-01-29T21:28:00.000-08:00

tiny hands and tiny feet

the tiny smile i love to greet

big brown eyes and big loud cries

i'd like to think you're missing me

the distance really isn't far

but, baby, there's no gas in my car

the world turns round, goes up and down

and your picture on the wall breaks my heart

a little laugh and a little cry

a little tear as the days go by

don't worry now, i'll come somehow

and you'll wipe my tears away

paint a song

2010-01-27T21:31:00.000-08:00

blank slate

and empty pages

open the floodgate

it's been waiting for ages

deep down

been there all along

words without a sound

harmonies without a song

rhyming,

rhythmic sensation

counting the timing

equals mega frustration

sometimes

every try doesn't

fall inside the lines

the result is not pleasant

so don't look back,

and with colors in hand

turn the volume up.

paint a song without music.

sing a picture.

write a feeling.

open your heart

give every word meaning.

there's no time to lose;

for time is a gift.

on the page before you

show me what you've lived.