I've been drinking way too much
And not crying near enough
I've been stumbling over words I should have said
I don't care about my career
What I wanted was to be a mother
And by my calculations I should have had 2 babies in my arms by now
But instead I have 5 men who have never introduced me to anyone as their girlfriend
I failed and my arms are empty again
And I can't be mad at you
You never meant to hurt me
I believe that
I knew it would end up this way
So I will fake a smile
And everybody will believe I'm fine
But this is my cry for help
That nobody will hear

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Thursday, May 9, 2013 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

give up.
let go.
let your shoulders slump and your head hang low.
do what you have to do, but know
that the end of the line is here.
let your dreams fly away.
maybe they'll come back some day,
but don't hold your breath

do the right thing.
get up every morning.
you were never an example,
so live your life as a warning.
let go; stop adoring
other's lives that you long to live.
nobody's perfect.

let the hole in your heart gape open.
numb the pain.
drown it, then let your eyes rain
and water your soul.
you'll never be quite whole,
but you'll live.

don't play the games.
don't settle for less.
but embrace loneliness.
cuz there's nothing to gain
by holding the pain
like the baby your arms long to cradle
but will never be able.

walk away, but don't hide.
have a friend to confide.
hope they'll be by your side,
but learn how to stand alone.
cuz in the end your the one
you need to rely on.

so give up.

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You don't hold me anymore
Your hands around my waist
Your eyes holding my gaze

But you don't hold me anymore
Fingers tighten on my neck
You hold me to your bed
Don't you have enough power yet?

You don't hold me anymore
I took a minute there to grieve
But you're nothing now to me
My heart has been set free
Cuz you don't hold me anymore!

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Tuesday, April 9, 2013 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

I fought for love, I fought so hard.
Look at me, I’m so scarred, but I never got to taste it
I hit and I clawed and I stabbed and I killed,
But all that time was wasted.
And now these scars, they won’t go away.
They stay, forever part of my ugly face.
And I pray that I could forget what made me this way.
Cuz love made me this way,
Not the real thing, but it cheap imitation.
Like I paid for a Rembrandt, but got a Salvation
Army poster print in a broken frame with stains on it.
But you get what you give, I suppose,
And I fought for love like this was a war,
So it’s no surprise that what I got back
Was broken trust and a heart attack. 

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Little bro, here's another song. I'm writing an original so you can sing along.
So I'm fresh like a rookie just getting off home plate.
My first base is a hit and run, so I gotta do time for a line so sick,
You'll pick it up like mono at midnight on New Year's Eve.
And you know I luh you like a fat kid loves to eat cake
But my affection for pastries makes my love seem fake
When you think about the choice our Savior had to make:
For our sake he took up the cross and defeated the grave
And all them things you could bake don't seem so great
When you look at his face, arms stretched out wide,
Cuz they nailed to the pine where he took our place,
Now what you know 'bout grace, fam?

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Friday, November 30, 2012 Posted in | , , , , , , | 0 Comments »

i miss...
  saturday morning, watching the world go by
  xbox, loud music, and touching the sky
  your arms around me, your hand in mine
  your sleepy eyes and long sighs
  mountains of pillows piled high
         the tears that i cried, all the ways that i died
         the anger i couldn't erase from your eyes
                  you stole the sun from my day
                  you turned my skies gray
                  left me nothing to say
                  gave me hope one day
                  and then took it away
                  i'm still lost in your gaze
                  i had nothing to gain
                  but you gave me your pain
                  and you took me away
         the fire inside, you stealing my pride
         your lies wrapped up in their truthful disguise
  climbing that hill to see the skyline
  your crazy blue eyes piercing my mind
  my hair in your hands and your dreads in mine
  the way that you made me feel so alive
i miss...

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Monday, October 1, 2012 Posted in | , , , , , , , , , , , | 0 Comments »

I called you back, but the phone just rang
We seem to miss each other a lot these days
May be bogus to you, but I need some boundaries
And I know it hurts us both, but I think
It could push you to be the man I know you could be
Maybe that sounds weird, cuz I know
Not a lot of people's putting these expectations on you
But they don't know you like I do
They don't know that your heart is true
That you feel deeply about all you do
Yeah, you got a mouthpiece that you gotta control
Or maybe it got control of you, who knows? (lol ;-)

But forget about that, it's not so much about
You and your problems as it is my doubt
That I can make it at this time
In certain situations in which we often found ourselves
I'm strugglin with all these changes
That I'm trying to make to make my life better
To get through this cold weather
I'm not talking about snow as much as the aftermath
It's like Katrina tore through my life
And now I'm tryna get it back

So don't feel so bad.Ya sabes I love you
Don't think that I'm not always thinkin of you
I know that today is your big day
You twenty-two, yeah, do you!
But remember who knew you, the true you
When you was new, takin your first breath
Cuz I'm thanking Him for makin you
And for puttin us through all that we went through
And I'm praying that He'll make me and you
Something brand new in everything we do
Happy birthday, bro, I love you!

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Sunday, September 23, 2012 Posted in | | 0 Comments »