Messed up

I've been drinking way too much
And not crying near enough
I've been stumbling over words I should have said
I don't care about my career
What I wanted was to be a mother
And by my calculations I should have had 2 babies in my arms by now
But instead I have 5 men who have never introduced me to anyone as their girlfriend
I failed and my arms are empty again
And I can't be mad at you
You never meant to hurt me
I believe that
I knew it would end up this way
So I will fake a smile
And everybody will believe I'm fine
But this is my cry for help
That nobody will hear

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Thursday, May 9, 2013 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

give up

give up.
let go.
let your shoulders slump and your head hang low.
do what you have to do, but know
that the end of the line is here.
let your dreams fly away.
maybe they'll come back some day,
but don't hold your breath

do the right thing.
get up every morning.
you were never an example,
so live your life as a warning.
let go; stop adoring
other's lives that you long to live.
nobody's perfect.

let the hole in your heart gape open.
numb the pain.
drown it, then let your eyes rain
and water your soul.
you'll never be quite whole,
but you'll live.

don't play the games.
don't settle for less.
but embrace loneliness.
cuz there's nothing to gain
by holding the pain
like the baby your arms long to cradle
but will never be able.

walk away, but don't hide.
have a friend to confide.
hope they'll be by your side,
but learn how to stand alone.
cuz in the end your the one
you need to rely on.

so give up.

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don't hold me

You don't hold me anymore
Your hands around my waist
Your eyes holding my gaze

But you don't hold me anymore
Fingers tighten on my neck
You hold me to your bed
Don't you have enough power yet?

You don't hold me anymore
I took a minute there to grieve
But you're nothing now to me
My heart has been set free
Cuz you don't hold me anymore!

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Tuesday, April 9, 2013 Posted in | , , | 0 Comments »

battle scars


I fought for love, I fought so hard.
Look at me, I’m so scarred, but I never got to taste it
I hit and I clawed and I stabbed and I killed,
But all that time was wasted.
And now these scars, they won’t go away.
They stay, forever part of my ugly face.
And I pray that I could forget what made me this way.
Cuz love made me this way,
Not the real thing, but it cheap imitation.
Like I paid for a Rembrandt, but got a Salvation
Army poster print in a broken frame with stains on it.
But you get what you give, I suppose,
And I fought for love like this was a war,
So it’s no surprise that what I got back
Was broken trust and a heart attack. 

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