nothing leaves my head
the noise of all my memories
is maddening, deafening
every lyric, every rhyme
"How come I'm always there for you
and you're never there for me?
How come I'm always empty?"
i see me sitting at the lunch table
"Invisible. Likeable, but not liked."
a-a-a-annnd it skips a beat
then i'm "At the end of my rope
and somebody greased it.
L-l-l-life's not fair..."
step forward then step back
and it's getting harder "to go out on a limb
to put myself up for scrutinization
and if I thought that this was hard before
I didn't know what it was like
to stand empty handed at the door
and to have no one answer me."
and and and "it would be ok now
if we both just could have cried..."
if we both just could have cried!
but i cried, alone. alone. alone-
the memories. all alone together.
but "This is my life. This is my story.
This is my song. This is my glory."
so "I tried so hard and fell so far.
In the end it doesn't even matter."
and the memories never leave
they never let go. "Just let me go
Nobody has to know.
I'm halfway gone; just let me go."
years have passed and these words
"These words are my own,
From my heart flow." they never


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Friday, April 30, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

i hate the way it burns my throat
i hate when it comes back the most
i hate the way i swallow hard
i hate that i let down my guard
i hate my body in a pile on the floor
i hate the fact that i crawl back for more
i hate the memories it brings to mind
i hate how it won't erase the tears i've cried
i hate my head over the garbage can
i hate the fact that my legs won't stand
i hate the pain that fills my head
i hate not knowing how i got to bed
i hate the texts that i send to friends
i hate the moment that this has to end
that's why tomorrow i'll do it again

FYI: I'm not actually an alcoholic! lol

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Thursday, April 29, 2010 Posted in | , , , , , | 0 Comments »

like a slap in the face
you put me in my place
got me sitting here like a kid
thinkin bout what i did
you got me to quit talking
people would say that's shocking
i just don't know what to do now

i think i've met my match!

then right after I wrote this I locked my keys in the car and myself out of the house. People putting me in my place gets me all flustered. It's just that it doesn't happen very much. Nobody tells me what to do! That's cuz I'm never out of line. Ugh. How am I gonna get my keys?

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Thursday, April 22, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

They always say, "I didn't want it to end like this." Does that mean they did want it to end?

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »

When the rain comes pouring down
It reminds me of a song--
One that fills my memory
So I want to sing along.
Not because I love it,
But because the melody's so strong

Memories flood my mind
And the tears fall like the rain,
As much for the joys of life
As for the scars and pain.
Those tears wash away the stains
When the rain comes pouring down.

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Saturday, April 3, 2010 Posted in | | 0 Comments »